Everybody has those moments when they feel depressed , sad , lonely , trapped . Why ? its because they feel like there is no one there to support them . No one to give them the attention they need . No one willing to listen to their story . It's like being trapped in a dark room , with no one to help you . It's sad knowing that when someone else is needing you like you need them , you're always there . But when you're needing them back ? It's like you don't even exist . That feeling , is just so sad . So scary , how no one is there for you when you need them the most , but when they need you , you're always right by their side . You just feel that you need someone , anyone at all , that is willing to listen to your side of the story , even for a few minutes , would make you feel better , but because that person was there .

I'm just your average teenage girl , smiling , bubbly , sweet and kind , always there for you when you need me . Having good grades , on the cheer squad , playing Volleyball and Tennis ,many friends , living the young life as much as I can . But it's like being a book cover . That's only what you see of me . No one really knows what goes on inside . This is my story , from the beginning , and still continuing to the end .

When I was younger , I felt like I had the perfect life . Being mommy and daddy's little princess , the only little princess that they would have . But then that all began to go downhill . It all just started from when I was about 5-6 , my parents were fighting for the 9 billionth time again . You know adults , just fighting over stupid reasons , drinking , smoking , money issues and all . I don't remember everything that happened , all I remember was that my parents began to fight over me . Yelling things like , " NO ! I WILL TAKE CARE OF HER ! " , " SHE'S MY DAUGHTER TOO , I WILL RAISE HER !" Back and forth they fought , my mom bringing in violence to the fight with a task .All I remember was that they were fighting , and having a tug-o-war with me . Mom pulling my left hand , dad pulling my right . I was crying , yelling at them to stop , it hurt so much . Then I couldn't take it , I pulled out of my mom's hand and chose my dad over her . That was when my mom left me and went to live with my grandfather . I saw her walk out of my life that day . Because I was still young , I never really understood what really happened , never really understood what was going on at the time . Since then , my daddy has been raising me as a single father . I still saw my mom of course , but it wasn't often . Fast forward to a couple years later .

As I grew older , me and my mom began to grow apart , never really talked to her , never really had a bonding with her . We then broke apart , only saying the usual things , " Hi mom , How are you ?" "Good . How about you ?" That was usually it . My dad still took me to visit her quite often though , trying to take her back . She didn't want to . Soon after that , my dad used to go out to parties a lot , he started drinking , smoking , causing me to second hand smoke and get asthma . He began to realize that I needed a mother , someone who can get in tough with my feminine side . Soon he became a player , rather than looking for a mom . Cheating on girls , messing around with them , just to get into their pants . He used me as an excuse to get girls , had me lying to them , saying I don't have a mother anymore , and that my dad had lots of money . It was terrible .

As I began to grow older , I realized how much of a bad influence my own father was to me . Makng me lie to other people , making me steal a couple bucks from other eople just so he can buy his worthless shit . Beer , cigarettes , women , sex , all became more important than me . I was like , a dog that we no longer wanted to take care of . I was like nothing but air to him . He usrd me just to get women and all . But then , one day , I thought he changed . He met a wonderful , perfect woman online , that lived in Cambodia , who was willing to take me as a daughter . My dad and her talked , then soon got into a relatinship . He soon had plans to get engagd with her . He bought airline tickets to go to Cambodia and engage her . That's when my life was literally turned upaide down

Skipping forward to a few months later . My dad and I were in Cambodia , my dad and this woman engaged . After a few weeks , it was time for me and him to come back to America . We were packed , waiting at the airport . When I thought we were going inside the building , my dad tells me that he was going to leave me in Cambodia with her , his fiancee , for a year . I couldn't believe it . I was only 8 , I only spoke English , no Cambodian , no nthing . Then he tells me he was going to leave me with her for a year ? What the fuck was going on ? I didn't want daddy to leave me with her . No . I wasn't going to allow it . Of course , she was a nice person , kind , sweet , perfect m her . She was holding on to me while my dad parted with me , I watched him wave goodbye as he left me , his only child , in Cambodia , with a person I didn't know .

Fast forwarding to the end of the year , my dad was coming back to pick me up . By now I was 9 and a half , darker than before , taller than before , bilingual , a totally , different kid than before. Not even remembering who my dad was . When I heard my step-mom say he was coming back to pick me up , I was surprised . I couldn't believe it . I was such a happy child . Finally , after a year , daddy was coming back , for me , to take me back home , where I can be in daddy's arms again . Oh how happy I was . Moving forward about a month later , its time for me to go back to America . But that was when hell went down . Right there . My step mom found out he was cheating on her . I was in complete shock . I thought my dad had changed , but he didnt . He cheated on my step mom that I actually loved , with an old ass whore that already had a son just for sex ? Really ?

Few years later , when I was about 11 . My step mom was forgotton . My dad took in this old whore . I hated her . She was disgusting , foul , old , ugly , wrinkley , and worst of all , abusive .

Her name was Lina . She was terrible . She acted to fake around my dad , so slutty , acted like she loved me . Being all sugar sweet with me . But behind his back , I was just a piece of annoying , worthless piece of shit . How culd my dad not see through her ? After all the times I told him how she treated me , smacking me in the face for not washing the dishes because I was doing homework , or how she pulled me by the hair and smacked my face repeatedly for taking a too long bath . He still didnt believe me . He believed her , the woman from hell . How can he love her ? How ? It made no sense .

- zoom zoom , 7 months later-
She finally moved out , she went back to Cambodia . But she used my aunts money to buy the airplane ticket , she borrowed about 2,500 dollars , and had my dad repay my aunt back . I was furious . How can she use my aunts money like that ? I could not accept it . My dad and I took her to the airport , They were saying their goodbyes and stuff , all up in each others faces , crying and shit . I then asked my dad if I could talk to her alone , so he let me . I told her this . "You , are a terrible person that should go die . You shouldn't just use other people's money like that , you selfish , old , ugly , mean , fat woman !" She then told my dad . I got a major ass-whooping when I got home . I couldn't believe it . I was so fed up . I felt done .

A few months after that , we moved out and lived with my dad's friend . His friend , Nick , was a nice guy , with his wife and son . I had a crush on his son to be honest . Anyways , I thought Nick was a nice guy , until he started to sexually touch my on my chest and waiste . I didn't feel right , so I ran to my dad and told him . He didn't do anything . So everytime Nick would touch me , I would cry , scream , kick , what ever I could do so he wouldn't touch me anymore . My dad still didn't do anything . After a while , he began to dtop . He begain to use me as a slave , making me clean his house , cook the food for his son , everything . Meanwhile , my dad was talking to another friend that he could move with , seeing to how Nick was treating me . Soon , we moved out about a month later . I lived in Chatsworth . With a new woman . She is my new step mom . She knew how to treated me , she treated me just like my previous step mom . Since when my dad hooked up with her I did not know . All I know was that she was a loving mother to me .