Growing up in Greensboro, North Carolina.. I was always so happy with my parents.. like we would do everything together, and then my father lost his job..
and it was all downhill from there,
My parents were always struggling to make ends meet.
and it was hard on me, being the only child I had NOBODY to come to and it was hard.. I was 11 at the time, and I was just getting out of the 5th grade so during that summer I went to camp and meet this girl named Carley who was so sweet to me and then we figured out we were going to the same middle school.
I was happy when I knew because I would finally have somebody to lean on now
and then we got into the 6th grade and it was one of the best years I've ever had during the school year...
then you know...... everybody has a facebook and SOOO, Carley and I decided to both make one..
Carley had more friends then I did on my Facebook, she was so "Popular" on that random guys would add her and they were cute guys so I would get jealous and not talk to her for a couple of days and then we would make up and be Best Friends all over again.. and then about a month into the Facebook situation these girls would just attack her online.. call her a whore, slut, cunt, ugly, stupid and bitch and she took it pretty hard, she would cry everytime she logged on to the Facebook account and it would kill me inside to see her so unhappy because she was my bestfriend and nobody wants to see the people they love hurt so much... and it happened every single day.. then summer came and the attacking stopped online, and it was like everything was back to normal.. and then 7th grade pulled up and it started like in the blink of an eye.. it was like non-stop, comment after comment, post after post, I.M after I.M and Carley never told her parents, they were never around and she felt like she didn't matter to them and I knew exactly what she felt like, which is why we were SO CLOSE.
Then one day.. Carley didn't show up for school and I knew something was wrong.. because she always shows up for school no matter if she was sick or not, she'd show up. It was different, and I always go to her house after school because my parents were never home and she always left her backdoor unlocked and so I opened the door and she has her own bathroom and I went in, and I found her hanging from her shower pole.. she hung herself.
and her laptop was sitting there and her Facebook page was opened up and there were posts from this girl who went to our school and it said : "Carley! Your such a Slut.. You probably gave every guy a Blow Job you dirty Whore! GO KILL YOURSELF.." and then I looked back at Carley who still was hanging and there was a paper in her hand, and it said:
"Hannah,
I love you so much, you were my everything.. my Bestfriend and Sister and
just let everybody know I won't be returning for my 8th grade year.. We all knew this was coming so NO SURPRISES THERE.. remember keep me in your heart because you'll always be in mine"
and my instinct was cry.. but I picked up the phone and called the police and then Carley's Mom and when the police got there because Carley's mom never bothered to show up . The Police had to untangle me from Carley and I was sobbing so bad that I could barely talk or get up and walk away.. it hit me that I lost somebody that really mattered to me.
I was already "Depressed" if you wanna call it that.. but I was because my parents weren't making it any easier on me.. My dad left us and moved to Texas and before he left he told me that he never wanted me and I was a mistake and he told my mom that she could go fuck anyone she wanted because he didn't want her either .. and that was that and he was gone.. forever and I haven't spoken to him since the 7th grade right after Carley's Death. My mom was always angry after my father left and she says now that.. my father was right, that I was a mistake and that I didn't deserve anything or anyone.
Back then she would hit me, but not like child abuse like.. whooped me constantly.
Then my Grandmother died and she was the closest thing to a mother that I had, so I was really Depressed then.. and now I barely even talk to my mom anymore, because all she does is yell..
So now that i'm in the 9th grade going on to the 10th, I'm such a stronger person now then I was before and I'm wise beyond my years because of my past.
and Everyday I think about Carley and the impact she made on my life.
she's an inspiration to all and she's gone but she'll never be forgotten

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xo hannah labatreiu ♥